As a new parent, you should not be doing these..
Having a child/ children is a blessing. From the first positive pregnancy report to the final push, the journey is awesome. Some parents have experienced family members to guide them. While some have books. And some have the internet.
Regardless of all the help & info, new parents are susceptible to mistakes. Especially in the initial few years. What parents fail to understand is that every child is different and no one particular method will help them build a bond with the infant.
So here are some tips that a new parent should definitely avoid. It will help in better bonding & understanding the kid & child development.
~Don’t believe everything you hear
As a new parent, experienced people will throw in a lot of info your way. Which pacifier to choose, why old clothes would be better, which side of the bed should the baby be on and more. Don’t consume everything. The info will only overwhelm you.
What matters the most is your & your spouses’ opinion. The infant is yours and for your bonding & relationship, it’s important that you play a major role in it. When you matter your opinion the most, you get to be creative, playful and fun. And that’s the side your growing baby needs.
~Neglecting your spouse
If you are a female, well your baby duties are endless. And as a male, your ‘bread provider’ duties are endless. And these duties can be tiresome by the end of the day. As a result, new parent-couples can end up complaining, arguing, requiring a change of lifestyle and more.
Remember, this is a normal phase. As a couple, you had only each other but now as parents, you have a child. And that can’t be undone in any way. Instead, the right way would be to accept changes, prioritize accordingly, have a couple-time (while the baby sleeps), focus on comprehending, understand duties, share the load and work as a team.
Cause let’s face it, neglecting your spouse ain’t helpful, especially when you want to share the load.
~Putting yourself last
Being a parent comes with responsibilities. Baby food, wellness, proper care, medical emergencies and more. But as a parent performing these, he/she should not forget oneself.
Regardless of the number of babies you have, take a minimum of 30 minutes a day to fulfill your happiness. Maybe a quality nap or reading or dancing. Anything that makes you feel sane & you. Not giving yourself time is turning into a machine- tired and irritated by the end of the day.
Note: A happy parent is a better parent.
~Comparing your child
If you see your friend’s child smiling, don’t ask yourself why isn’t your kid doing the same? Why not crawling? Why not building blocks or trying to talk?
Every child has a different grasping & growing speed. Only cause your kid did not walk at the same age as your friend’s kid, doesn’t mean your kid is developing wrong. He/she is developing fine, right and proportionate to his/her speed.
Rather, believe in teaching and helping them grow. Stop using your electronic devices around them and start being a child.
~Not living the moment
A camera brand released an ad a couple of years ago. There was a school stage where a number of kids were performing. All parents were holding up either a phone or an Ipad. Using it to text or check emails and more.
When the show ended, a kid asked his parents, “Which was your fav dialogue of the play?” and the parents could not choose one. Why?
Cause they had heard nothing. Busy & undivided focus on using the device.
As a new parent, keep aside your devices. Go crazy in capturing & living the moments. Try laughing & enjoying the child’s first laughter or the first time they used a band-aid.
What about the moments they draw a moustache or drape a saree. Or the first time they win a prize. Or the first time they ride a bike. Record the moments when they say I love you. Sing a song and do the dance. Priceless treasures that once gone are gone forever. Live them.
As a new parent, making changes to lifestyle is difficult. Your days of dates, social outings, adventure trips and even work will be affected. At times won’t be possible at all. But as new parents, bringing up a child that becomes the reason you smile is most satisfying & magical.
There are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child. Anne Lamott.